I'm really "diggin'" your helpful comments & suggestions !  THANKS !

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I hope they are not simply making a "tactical retreat"!  - Mike A.  8/20

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Call in John Kerry. With his extensive 4 month combat experience, I'm sure he could eradicate the problem in no time. Maybe he could even earn another Purple Heart!  If that fails call in Teresa Heinz Kerry. She even scares the hell out of me!!!  - John Z.  8/20

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Mark - The loons at PETA are bound to get on your ass and trash the car.  I don't have moles but I do have groundhogs that raid my garden. I will not tolerate that.  I have a fence which keeps the damn deer out but small varmints can easily get by it. I know where most of their holes are. If I see one, I get my rifle ready - no, just a  single shot 8 cartridge clip .22. Don't need no steekin' assault weapon about to be come legal again in the US&A.  So we can protect ourselves from terrorists and neighbor's dogs who take a dump on our groomed lawn.  If it scoots down a hole, I throw a smoke bomb after it and wait until it pops up out of its escape tunnel and then throw a few rounds in its direction.  Hopefully it leaves a widow and a few orphans behind.  - Art W.  8/20

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Congratulations… I guess.  - Karen B.  8/20

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Hey Mark - Don't ya think the word has gotten out in the underworld?  I mean your opponent has probably recruited a ton (ok, maybe 50 pounds) of reinforcements.  Friends, family members, paid mercenaries.  They will probably place a dead colleague in the trap, watch while you do the victory dance in the front yard, and videotape it all!  Then, the next morning, you will awaken with more piles of dirt in your yard than you could think was possible.   I don't know, but I know what I would do… MOVE!   - John L.  8/3

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It looks as though you're having quite a lot of fun with your new pets!  I still think you need more than the "M" series, and mole-gel, to get this job done... Sometimes, you have to take the "bull by the horns": DYNAMITE!!!

- Tony T.  7/31

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Call President Bush, and tell him that you have found the "WMD" (Weapons of Mole Destruction").  He will invade your yard, destroy it, and then give you millions of taxpayer's dollars to rebuild it.  It's a "win-win"; he finally gets the WMD, you get a new yard, and few million bucks.  - Jeff B.  7/31

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Face it, a Bimmer is not going to work.  Go get a 1985 Chrysler K-car... Detroit's finest!  Cost: About $300... 

- Cliff C.  7/31

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Will you give me a battlefield tour when I visit your house?  Or is it self guided?  If we attach the mole hoses briefly to my 535i, can we then call it an "M" car too?  - Rich P.  7/30

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.I've heard that with modern medical technology, you can have a mole removed by a qualified physician.  Have you checked with the Clinic?  Perhaps they'd have a solution.  If all else fails, I can help... You see... I'm Batman! 

- Jimmy O.  7/29

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Hey, Mate!  Consider covering your lawn with cement!  Mix in a little green paint, and your troubles are o'er! 

- "Grandma" O.  7/29

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Gee...and I just went the conventional route, and had them exterminated when they were sneaking into my house, right after I moved in.  I had to remodel my whole back room.  I found that they stick to those mouse traps rather nicely though.  As for my backyard - My dog kills them!  - Bill C.  7/29

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Soak the whole area with salt water...  Pound 2 metal pipes into the ground, and connect it up to a 220 volt feed line.  Add a little Bullseye BBQ sauce, and dinner will be well done, very fast!!!  Salt water conducts electricity very well...  Must be the salt,.. DUH!!!  Just make sure you are on the porch, not the ground, when you throw the switch.  And as Carol (Carol Franklin, lead vocalist in the bands Squib, and Logical Solution) said in the past: "Make sure you wear your rubbers!" {BOOTS, that is!}  - Bob H.  7/27

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It's time to call Bill Murray in from "Caddy Shack".  You can get some TNT, and blow that little cridder (sic) to Lake Erie!  - Matthew G.  7/28

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If you think the mole is bad, look what *you've* done to your yard!  - C.R. K.  7/27

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Hilarious!  Have you sold any? ("M" Mole-Killer car and apparatus)  - Troy W.   7/27

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Damn, this varmint has more smarts than you do!!    I hate to waste good chocolate, so go with the juicy fruit.  THEN go with the 'tiller....IF you have a few pounds of grass seed (no not the little round ones), a landscape rake, and a few hours to install blisters on top of those barely healing hands.  - John L.  7/27

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Cute....As far as the mole goes...  You have used method number five a lot - Without much success.  I'd get a trap - Catch him, and take him to your neighbor's house.  - Linda J.  7/27

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To beat that mole, you gotta BE THE MOLE!  - Cliff C.  7/27

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Have you tried a shotgun in one of the holes?  - Sam H.  7/22

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I think I would remove at least 1 plug wire to make the exhaust even more lethal.  If you cut the cost of the 535i by $200, I'll bring my secret weapon.  You will not be disappointed.  - Rich P.   7/21

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You have waaaaaaayyyyy too much time on your hands…  - David P.  7/21

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Wow, you seem to really have a problem. And that's besides the mole! Ha ha, just kidding. I prefer a different method for a mole "cell extraction". I prefer to bait a trap (traps can be bought for probably what you spent in gas already). Once the critter is caught, poke it with a stick until you feel better, then either A) put a .22 shell in his nasty head, or B) put the cage in a large plastic bag and seal it for a day out in the beating sun  preferably, or C) use the M5 mole killer with said plastic bag for results within 5 minutes. Repeat this process for the next ten to fifty years until all moles are dead. You could also release the bugger 10 miles from home, preferably in someone's lawn that you do not like.  - Mike A.  7/21

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Do you realize that there is a relationship between people who torture animals and homophobic serial killers?  I thought you ought to know.  PS - You are a whack job!  Obviously with WAY too much time on your hands…  - Anne K.  7/21

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Sue is appalled by your actions, and wants justice for the mole!  She said she'll be calling PITA (some silly animal rights group that she aspires to), to come and get your ass, and she also plans to protest in front of your house, probably, for an ungodly amount of time.  Additionally, she wants to know how you can treat a blind, helpless, defenseless, sweet little creature, so terribly!  That mole has every right to be on this planet, just like us!  Personally, I don't give a rat's ass whether the damn mole lives, or dies, so good luck to you.  - Bob & Sue B.  7/21

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You are sick!!!  But it's my sick friends that I like best!  - Sam H.  7/18

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We lent our exhaust hoses to my cousin, about 20 years ago, in the Boston, Massachusetts area, to do this same task.  It will work on similar rodents underground, as well.  The fumes are heavier than the air, so it just keeps going down into the hole.  Take a plug wire off, to increase to industrial strength!!!  - Greg P.  7/18

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I'll just call you, instead of the Orkin man. By the way, don't let these pictures get out to the public.  I think the Orkin man may get upset, and try to patent your invention, if he sees it! (He He)  - Tony T.  7/17

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Thanks your for the great idea!  Moles aren't my problem - Groundhogs are, and their burrows are sometimes where I dare not bring even an AWD.  I deal with the problem using a .22 rifle with a scope, or smoke bombs that you drop down the hole.  The rifle is also handy, in case the varmint scoots out the escape hole that they always have.  One only has to be careful not to set the grass, or trees, on fire - Those bombs burn real hot!  - Art W.  7/17

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Keep that mole!  Them's good eatin'!  - Cliff C.  7/17

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That is f*cking AWESOME!!! (the original "M" Mole-Killer contraption)  I can't believe I never thought of it!  You are the master!  I bow to you!  P.S. - Eventually, I will claim this as my own!  - Bill M.  7/17

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HELL YES!  We could franchise it!  (the original "M" Mole-Killer contraption)   We'll buy some cars that don't pass E-Check, and do a killer of a biz! (literally)  Hey, I just saw that kit for sale at Harbor Freight!  $29.99, on sale!  - John L.  7/16

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What evil this way comes… Remind me never to get under your skin…  - Paul B.  7/16

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